Music: The Best (and Worst) Singles of 2012

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These singles may not have been the “best” of the year in some cases, but hey, I can’t listen to every song in every genre, and quite frankly, I don’t really want to. I’m sure there were “better” songs out there than some of these. Hell, I know where were worse songs than the ones I picked. I’m not perfect, damn it. These are the “best” and “worst” songs of 2012. The songs that defined (or destroyed) the year, with a few personal favorites, too.

Top 10

10. Gotye feat. Kimbra-“Somebody That I Used To Know”-Remember this little gem? The “little song that could” of 2012, Gotye (Goat-yay? Goat-ee-eh? Got-ya?) reminded every teenage girl ever of that one friend or ex-boyfriend that isn’t in their life anymore. And if you can make all of them post your song lyrics to their Facebook walls, then you know you’ve got a hit on your hands. More than that, though, I think this video expresses just how we all felt about this song:

9. The Weeknd-”Wicked Games”-If Frank Ocean is the best new thing to come to R&B then the Weeknd is a close second. Admit it. His music makes you wanna have sex. And really, isn’t that what R&B is supposed to do? Okay, maybe not quite. But the guy has a voice to die for and a style all his own.

8. Psy-”Gangnam Style”-Oh, Gangnam Style. Honestly, the video is the best thing about the song and introduces us to a dance that is at least better than that Soulja Boy Superman shit, but no one can deny the impact Korean pop star Psy had on this year with this juggernaught. It’s bound to get old, but for now, the video is the most watched on Youtube and who knows when it’ll slow down.

7. Carly Rae Jepsen-”Call Me Maybe”-I still don’t exactly know how one can miss someone before meeting them, but I’ve learned to just accept it and enjoy the pop sensation that is “Call Me Maybe.” Because there’s no escaping it. Go ahead. Try. You won’t. And Carly Rae Jepsen is fucking adorable. So I feel no shame. Sue me, maybe.

6. Kendrick Lamar-“Swimming Pools (Drank)”-Kendrick Lamar is the breakout hip-hop artist of the year, with his first studio album, “good kid, M.A.A.D City,” being called the best rap album since Kanye West’s “My Beautiful Dark Twisted Fantasy.” It’s for good reason. Lamar paints a vivid picture of his home town and crafts a beautiful dark twisted story of his own.

5. Taylor Swift-”We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together/”I Knew You Were Trouble”-I couldn’t really decide which single off of Taylor Swift’s new album, “Red,” should make the list. I just knew the list wouldn’t be complete by today’s standards if Swift wasn’t on it. So I chose both of them. They’re pretty much the same song, but equally catchy as fuck. Go ahead. Judge me.

4. The Killers-”Here With Me”-Okay, so this isn’t exactly one of 2012’s “biggest hits” but I couldn’t resist. Of the three singles released off of The Killers’ new album, “Battle Born,” “Here With Me” makes the list for its emotion, especially as the song reaches its end: “And instead of walking toward you, I ran away.” Damn.

3. Adele-”Skyfall”-It wouldn’t be a “best of” list without Adele these days it seems. This elegant theme for the latest James Bond flick of the same name puts a cap on an already brilliant opening sequence in the movie, and foreshadows the dangers to come when we didn’t even know what Skyfall meant at the time (“We will face it all, together, at Skyfall”). Go ahead, win that Oscar for Best Original Song, Adele. You need to add to your collection of awards.

2. G.O.O.D. Music feat. Kanye West, Jay-Z, & Big Sean-”Clique”-Remember “My Beautiful Dark Twisted Fantasy?” The album where Kanye West crafted a masterpiece in hip-hop? Well, “Cruel Summer” wasn’t exactly like that. Here, Kanye and friends (wouldn’t that have been the best title?) just have a grand ol’ time, and it’s all G.O.O.D.

1. Frank Ocean-“Thinkin’ Bout You”-When Frank Ocean came out about his sexuality and his first love, people may have been wondering who exactly Ocean was thinking about. But it doesn’t really matter. The man is a musical genius, and the best new face of modern R&B. Not only that, but his “Channel Orange” is the best album of the year.

10 More (Best of the Rest)

11. Macklemore and Ryan Lewis feat. Wanz-”Thrift Shop”

12. Alex Care-”Too Close”

13. Bruno Mars-”Locked Out of Heaven”

14. Ellie Goulding-”Anything Could Happen”

15. Eric Church-”Springsteen”

16. Meek Mill feat. Drake-“Amen”

17. Swedish House Mafia-”Don’t You Worry Child”

18. The Lumineers-”Ho-Hey”

19. Skrillex feat. Sirah-“Bangarang”

20. Imagine Dragons-”It’s Time”

Worst

1. Train-”Drive By”-Train is the cheesiest band to grace radio stations in recent memory. They’re the Nickelback of pop rock…okay, so Nickelback is the Nickelback of pop rock, but you get my point. Just listen to the lyrics. Listen real close. Have them in front of you even if you have to. And if you hear “when you move me, everything is groovy” and still like the song, then there’s no help for you.

2. Nicole Westbrook (feat. that creepy black guy)-”It’s Thanksgiving”-I put “that creepy black guy” in parenthesis because putting all the blame on an innocent 12 year old girl doesn’t really seem right. That creepy black guy is the same guy who gave us “Friday,” so he seems intent on feasting on the souls of young girls and making them the laughing stock of the internet. What an ass. “It’s Thanksgiving” sounds exactly the same as “Friday” except in this video the creepy black guy shows up in a turkey outfit and eats dinner with a bunch of middle schoolers.

3. Nicki Minaj-”Va Va Voom”/“Pound the Alarm”-I assume they’re interchangeable. Whichever song I like least doesn’t matter, though. I just hate Nicki Minaj nowadays. So pick one.

4. Justin Bieber-”Boyfriend”-”Swaggy.” End of discussion.

5. Maroon 5-”Payphone” feat. Wiz Khalifa/”One More Night”-I didn’t really know which of these Maroon 5 singles was worse, so I put them together. Like the Taylor Swift songs above, they’re pretty much the same thing, except these are bad. When the hell did Maroon 5 try acting all tough and badass? Wiz Khalifa? Really?

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